In today's travel baseball and softball world, I believe we all (Me included) suffer from the Goldilocks complex! The goldilocks complex refers to the Goldilocks and Three Bears fairy tale story, where Goldilocks goes from bed to bed as this one is "too soft" and this bed is "too hard." So Goldilocks is in pursuit of the "just right." bed.
We, as parents, look at our teams through only the prism of their own eyes and child. This team is "too" fill in the blank with a million different things. First off, it's not your fault. It's your nature as a parent to be consumed with your child. You are doing that from a place of love. We, as parents, lose all logic when our kids are involved. I have seen highly educated people, experienced coaches, executives, and, well, basically everyone throughout 20 years completely lose themselves when their kids are involved with sports.
The Goldilocks complex, in my opinion, is what creates the drama of youth sports. Everyone is looking for "just right." The problem is that "just right" is always a moving target! It always starts from a place of love for their kid; however, it usually does not consider many other factors that play into that team's particular situation.
So what helps bring perspective to parents when they are overcome with this team is, "too _______?"
Here are a couple of questions I would suggest and have asked myself over the years.
What does the player want? Be sure to separate what the player wants from the parents! (We see this all the time where the parents want "it" more than the player.) Does this team fulfill what your player wants?
What do I want for my kid? What do I really want, and be open about it with your entire family? Does this team fulfill that?
What am I missing? What facts or circumstances am I not considering?
When facing drama or internal turmoil within a team, ask yourself this question. If I fast forward five years from now and look back, what will I remember? Whatever "that" is, make your decision based on that—the rest won't matter.
We love our kids so much, and we only want what's best for them. But that love for our kids clouds our judgment and makes perfectly good humans be terrible people. Don't be that! If you asked yourself the question above and the team your player is on is in line with all four of the questions above. Bite your tongue and remind yourself this is where you are supposed to be.
This season of our kids playing sports is short-lived. I have seen a lot in twenty years, and I have and will make mistakes as a coach and parent. However, experience tells me that the questions above will be a great guide. So enjoy the moments while they last, as the early morning rides to tournaments and packing coolers for a tournament will be gone before you know it!